| In an artistic sense: I am a poet who imagines her muse to be a butterfly. Sometimes he is colorful and vibrant, other times he is dull and lifeless as a moth whose wings have been rubbed clean by dirty fingertips. He is rarely listening to any of my thoughts or needs, but occasionally he sees fit to pay attention and I could never survive without him. In a realistic sense: I am a college sophomore who currently has another four years ahead of her in order to receive a B.S. in Chemistry, a B.S. in Biology, and a minor in Forensic and Investigative Sciences from the Purdue School of Science. Yes, it will take forever, but it will be worth it. Ultimately I also want to receive a M.S. in Forensic and Investigative Science as well. |
=x-SilentScreams-x
Scarlet LyristNewest
Love AffairVelvet sisters of God Who wake porcelain web women And haunt yesterday morning smoke See them dance in time and rhythmLove Affair
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Ephemeral AddictionsI once sang to your coming Harmonic symphonies orchestrated From fishing line and conversation lures Undressed to impress Hooked and caughtEphemeral Addictions
Now I drink to your leaving Shipwrecked reckless nights Of center cut cardiac mistakes Self-incriminating lust And everything fell apart
by =x-SilentScreams-x
AccidentI swallowed my heart this morning It was right before the snow swallowed my thunderbird And the fence post kissed my bumperAccident
Somewhere, buried in a foot of snow Are tire tracks and a turn signal lens Resting beside a fallen wire fence And the footprints of a frightened teenage college girl
It was a bad day to wear mascara
by =x-SilentScreams-x
SurpriseMother, I am guilty of breaking your heart With traumatic words and subtle blunt force You swallowed a tornado of mostly adult breaths And lost sight of your precious baby girlSurprise
Father, I hope you still have a heart Trapped inside a semi-cold ribcage Blocking out childhood pictures and memories To forget the daughter you used to have
You never saw it coming You only saw me leaving
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Prose
BloodThe human body is a miraculous thing.Blood
I have donated my flesh as a playground for sharp toys. Razors skate in figure eights on my chest while needles play tic-tac-toe on my thighs. It is beautiful, really, to watch myself in the mirror as my eyes glaze over with endorphins and my breath races to fog the glass. It reminds me of the times I have shared my body with you, but feels so much better in the end. And, no matter how much I lose, my body continues to birth more so that the pain can still return tomorrow.
Would you like to see?
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Break the HabitI. Every time that I pick up the phone, my fingers begin to dial from memory and then curl through the cord like you once did with my hair whenever you would feel the urge to touch me. Tears wash my cheek and choke my words before your answer even reaches my heart. I’m not sure if I keep forgetting to buy a cordless phone or if I keep remembering how good your voice felt.Break the Habit
II. Every night, before I fall asleep, I run your pillow through the dryer and place it on the mattress beside me. This way, I won’t wake up at two a.m. screaming because someone took you away and I can’
by =x-SilentScreams-x
ChallengesI stopped by the gravesite today. I tried to fight the tears. I lost.Challenges
It’s been a whole year since she left me, left us. It feels like just yesterday. James says it’s time to forgive and forget. I can’t. How could she abandon us? We kept trying to stop her, to save her. But, she was always best at defying us.
James wants me to clean out her room. Anything that Katie wants, she can have. The rest is to be donated. I don’t know if I can do it. But, I guess I’ll hav
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Faint of HeartsI. My prison is one of carved trees and dead photographs. Splinters and paper cuts shred the strings of my sanity, counting down to my sentence. Breathing in black and white, I wonder what it means to suffocate.Faint of Hearts
II. Butterfly, you are the only color that I have left. Fairy dust stains my irises with April rainbows and dread, leaving a moth’s corpse in place of his destruction. Butterfly, did it hurt when he crushed your wings?
III. He placed fingerprints inside my flesh and lysed me like a disease. With sternum on vertebrae and ribcage sprawled to mat
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Poetry
MirrorBath water reflects Scars to her eyes As she bleeds once more Forever the last timeMirror
by =x-SilentScreams-x
MusicThe baby cries in the background Singing songs to the freshly dead The father gone mad with fury Taking the life of his dearly belovedMusic
The perfect family on the outside Just wait until you look within
by =x-SilentScreams-x
My Heart...Good morning angel Nurse your hangover And I’ll come back later Just to hang you overMy Heart...
The banister holds our place While you beg me to forgive The faults of your heart And where you slept
So close to losing your taste To that of such sweet decay Lost to the night’s calm air And floating out your window
Bed sheets holding taut Like the veins in your throat Choke on my skin Until you forget how it feels
by =x-SilentScreams-x
OceanicFloat your head high Like a sea nymph of legend The sharks worship your flesh Like salt water taffy on their tonguesOceanic
There’s magic in my fingertips That brings life to the ocean There’s poison in my palms That brings death to the earth
Take a deep breath Of polluted sea water Your blood is like oil The spill doesn’t mix well
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Song Inspired
Giant in the RingNow tell me, love Can you see clearer With bottle after bottle Tipped before your eyes Clouded over by decades of disease And excuses stuttered off your lipsGiant in the Ring
And tell me, love Do you feel stronger Holding out the jagged edges Bottle neck to lover’s neck One stab for every defense Unsure of who you are really convincing
But tell me, love Can you really cut the strings And reclaim your sanity From lie addicted nerves Because intentions are worthless And the winter is unforgiving
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Look at MeSuppressed childhood tragedies And dull morning hangovers Can make mirrors become silver puzzles Meant for palm prints and fingertips To trace shivers through the spine Because crystal blue valleys Are worth more when explored In saltwater reflections Of decaying tooth enamel Than in the eyes of someone elseLook at Me
No matter what you believe I know this can’t be me
by =x-SilentScreams-x
MichaelYour story is compressed Into confetti and paper swans Hidden between diary pages And collapsed mattress springs I never read a single word But I can still remember them allMichael
Your halo is resting On curtain rods of flesh and bone With down feathers glistening Under pencil dust and black mold I hold it like a fragile lullaby That promises to drown me in your blood
Janie, I love you But the thorns of wild roses Are not thirsty in January And I always swore That I would go out in style
by =x-SilentScreams-x
My Heart...Good morning angel Nurse your hangover And I’ll come back later Just to hang you overMy Heart...
The banister holds our place While you beg me to forgive The faults of your heart And where you slept
So close to losing your taste To that of such sweet decay Lost to the night’s calm air And floating out your window
Bed sheets holding taut Like the veins in your throat Choke on my skin Until you forget how it feels
by =x-SilentScreams-x
Random Favourites
ix. sunrise1.ix. sunrise
your heart is a[n empty] castle and your arms [do not] feel like home.
2.
you love me, [and you show your twisted
affection as] you bring home chests full of suns and moons, alive and glowing [before you devour them] whole.
3.
the sun does not rise [your eyes dictate]. it flies, with [battered] golden wings blushing pink [and bruising purple].
4.
the last arrow in your quiver is aimed at [my heart. the last thing left beating behind] these stone walls. you say, let us break free of [
by ~chrysanthe-aL
kerosene kissesdouse me in your gasoline love and drench me in your kerosene kisseskerosene kisses
[it's okay. i like the smell and the taste.]
but i didn't like the taste you left in my mouth when you walked away without a smile
and flick your still-lit-cigarette-butt looks at me and light me with the spark of your eyes that i used-to-still love [you]
[it's okay. the burns don't burn as much as missing you does.]
but i didn't count on forest-fires of regret and brush-fires of wish-i-could-take-i
by ~Squirrel-23
everything i see is .collabwe'll stand like picket fences in eerie, mirrored neighbourhoods, strong and pale, covered in paint and poison. [the posts dig homes for themselves between skin and sinew, displacing blood and spitting splinters.]everything i see is .collab
they'll plant themselves in our path, colour themselves red, with the cracked-heart blood-yolk from their old love, and say STOP! [but this is our road, this is our life, these are our hearts, and this is my promise.]
but paint will always fade and shoes will never stay white. nothing and everyt
by ~ohsostarryeyed
Friends
Watchers
Visitors
- Jun 30, 2009 @ 9:49 am~the-jackyll
- Jun 29, 2009 @ 9:55 am*AltoidAddict1517
- Jun 27, 2009 @ 7:34 pm~DryCellBodyCrumbles
- Jun 24, 2009 @ 11:26 am~virenity
- Jun 15, 2009 @ 9:12 pm~mariposakisses25
Devious Info
- Current Residence: Too far from campus
- Interests: Enabling my addiction to writing and reading any book that looks interesting
- Favourite movie: Battle Royale
- Favourite band or musician: Trans-Siberian Orchestra
- Operating System: Windows XP
- MP3 player of choice: 16 GB iPod Nano-Chromatic (PRODUCT)RED
- Tools of the Trade: pen(cil) and paper
- Email: aneibaur@iupui.edu
- MSN: scarlet_sanity@msn.com
- Yahoo: shadow_vanity
deviantID
Save Yourself, It Just Might Be Better In The End 
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TiredJournal History
- Jun 29, 2009 Save Yourself, It Just Might Be Better In The End
- Jun 24, 2009 Just Take Care Of Yourself, It Will Be Alright
- Jun 17, 2009 Negligence In Leaving
- Jun 8, 2009 I Bet You Never Saw It Coming
- Jun 6, 2009 My New Baby...
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--
Finally I find, when I lose control
Inside my body crumbles
It's like therapy for my broken soul
Inside my body crumbles
--
We only see starlight because all the stars are bleeding.
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
My Band
My Website
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
"Spirituality means waking up, Many of us, even though we don't know it, are asleep. We're born asleep, we live asleep, we marry in our sleep, we breed children in our sleep, we die in our sleep without ever waking up."
De Mello'
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
Finally I find, when I lose control
Inside my body crumbles
It's like therapy for my broken soul
Inside my body crumbles
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
Finally I find, when I lose control
Inside my body crumbles
It's like therapy for my broken soul
Inside my body crumbles
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
--
"Spirituality means waking up, Many of us, even though we don't know it, are asleep. We're born asleep, we live asleep, we marry in our sleep, we breed children in our sleep, we die in our sleep without ever waking up."
De Mello'
--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines
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